Update from dating disaster land!!!
So I've mentioned I'm re-trying online dating. Tonight, I actually went on a date from it. Or tried to. Let me explain.
This guy, G, messaged me a few weeks ago with an email that started by saying "I'm finding it hard to believe you're still single." I'm susceptible to this kind of flattery, and he looked really cute, so I figured we could talk. We had a few messages back and forth, and he seemed fine--he had some trouble spelling, which is a pet peeve for me, and it wasn't exactly fireworks in written form (no Nicholas Sparks-worthy letters here), but hey, what do you expect? My first kind of "errrrmm" came when he asked from my phone number so he could text me, and I had to ask him what his name was--it just seemed weird to give my number to someone who hadn't even asked for my name. Well, we exchanged names and then numbers, and we texted for a while.
First thing: texting sucks. Ok, I love texting, especially when I'm drinking (shout-out to my drunk-text-buddy Laurel!!), but it is no way to get to know somebody. And when we're talking about "wooing" somebody, texting seems kind of lazy. If you want to impress us, guys, pick up the phone.
But so anyway, he asks me out and I say yes. He suggests the time and the place and we confirm it several times. Tonight, at 7, at a bar in downtown. At 6:30, he texts me and says, "I'll be running 15 minutes late." This was kind of annoying, but since he'd given me some notice, I text back, "ok, see you at 7:15!" He texts back, "Ok cool."
Cut to 7:05. I've showered, primped, and am about 5 minutes away from the bar. I get a text from G: "Let's make it 7:30. I'm leaving my house now."
It's a good thing I'm driving and can't text back right away, cause my first compositions were pretty passive aggressive and annoyed. I pull over to text my friends with indignation and let out some steam. At this point, G calls me. His explanation: "I got out of work late, then you know, I had to like take a shower. Normally I'm never late, but like I said I got out of work late. I apologize, where are you?"
I tell him I was there already. His response: "Oh, how's parking? It can be crazy."
Let's recap here. One half-hearted apology. Despite getting really frustrated, I said ok relatively pleasantly, and signed off.
At that point, all I wanted was to be curled up in my pjs on the couch watching Mythbusters. Yes, I am aware that some of the reason I'm single is that my default mode is curling up on the couch and watching Mythbusters: if there is a choice, I tend towards solitude and lumpitude rather than going out to meet new people. On the other hand, I thought about the two people I found out today had gotten engaged (Mazel Tov guys!) and about how truly ready I am to have my special guy be curled up WITH ME on a couch to watch Mythbusters. (Sidenote, watching Mythbusters is not a deal breaker for dating me, but it is helpful.) And so I stayed.
My friend calls me while I'm waiting and I get to express myself. She gives me some suggestions of how to tell him I'm feeling disrespected and annoyed without ruining the date. Then G texts that he is parking, and I head out of my car to the restaurant to meet him.
He walks up and my view of him is instantly more positive. Call me shallow, but oooh-ee, but he's a good-looking man! To quote Bridesmaids, I wanted to climb him like a tree. After a suitable dating period, of course. Besides, he gives me a hug and another apology so I tell myself he is worth a second chance.
The waiter leads us to a table. It's a nice restaurant, by the way. On the way to sit down, G asks me if I lived in the city. Seeing as he's asked this twice in our texts already, I'm a bit confused, but I answer. We sit down and look at the menu briefly. He suggests the hummus and tells me where on the menu drinks were located. The waiter comes to pour us some ice water, and G asks the waiter where the men's room was. The waiter tells him, and G stands up, without saying a word to me, and walks away.
Five minutes later, the waiter comes back. He introduces himself and says that when G comes back, he'll come take our drinks orders.
Five minutes later, he checks in again. No G.
Five minutes later, he asks me if I want a drink while I wait. You guessed it, still no G.
Five minutes later, I'm done. I have no idea what was going on in that bathroom. If it was taking that long (20 minutes), I probably didn't want to be around when it was done. And by now I am so mad I know that even if G came back, I'll be too riled up to give him a decent chance and the date would be a disaster. Ok, MORE of a disaster. I beckon the waiter over. "Look," I tell him, trying not to cry with embarrassment and frustration. "This guy was 45 minutes later and now he's been in the bathroom for 20 minutes. I don't know what's going on, but I think I'm just going to leave."
"Ok," the waiter says. "Well, you take that drink downstairs to the bar, that one's on me."
"Thank you," I reply, "but I just want to go home. Thank you again for being so nice."
And I run away. Back down the stairs, down the street, into my car, and all the way back to my near-suburb home.
Look, I know I'm picky. I know sometimes I don't give guys enough of a chance. And I'm trying really hard to change that about myself. But, seriously? SERIOUSLY???? You're super late, then you immediately abandon me, and you show no realization of how this is not ok? Dealbreaker, dealbreaker, dealbreaker. Especially since it was a first date. Dude, first dates are for IMPRESSING your date, not showing them how very little you are actually interested in spending time with them.
It's called respect. It's called courtesy. It's called consideration. It's called common sense, for pete's sake. I cannot tell you how ready I am to be in a romantic relationship again, but I refuse to be treated like that. No matter how hot you are (moment of silence for the hotness that has been lost....sigh....). Who on earth has this guy been out with that has put up with this????
So, that was my date. I haven't heard from G yet--I have no idea what to say if I do!! But hey, you know, it still wasn't the worst date I've been on! Lol. And I made it home in time to watch Mythbusters. Thank heavens for small favors.
Hope your nights were more productive :) Thanks for letting me rant, and much love.
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