A short deep thought

We have a patient at work who is super cute. He is a nice man in his late eighties, and he has pretty advanced dementia. He is the definition of "pleasantly confused." My favorite story comes from his wife, who told us how one afternoon after watching the Masters Golf Tournament on television, he turned to her and said, "I had no idea we lived on such a nice golf course."

This patient is very sweet and nice in his dementia, but he really is no longer who he was. He is very somnolent, and falls asleep within seconds--sometimes while he is doing his exercises or while i am dressing him. Occasionally he will burst forth with some hint of his old personality, such as when I asked him how he was and he replied, "Oh, fat, lazy, and ornery, how are you?" But most of the time he is just sort of....there.

This leaves his wife. At first glance a sweet, typical little Southern lady, she has a will of iron. She is his sole caregiver and she is always there for him, encouraging him and interpreting for im. She tells me what his normal routine is, what she thinks will help him do better, what he likes and what he's thinking. After I asked him to do an exercise where he squeezed his hands like he was revving a motorcycle, she brought in a picture of him in his younger days on his harley (he was very handsome, by the way). She is basically his emissary, singlehandedly preserving his self even as it is but ensuring that we all know who he is beneath the dementia.

So here's the deep thought. They've been married over 50 years, she does EVERYTHING for him EVERY day (cleans his rear end three times every day, for example), and she never speaks of him with anything less than affection and respect. Part of it is surely the fact that she is a wonderful person. But I can't help but believe that part of it is also because of who he was. He must have been a good man and a good husband for her to cherish, protect, and care for him like she does. To have earned that dedication.

Doesn't that make you wonder if someone would do the same for you? Doesn't it make you want to be a better person--because even if there is no one to do that for you, you would still be the kind of person who would inspire that devotion?

Also, isn't love amazing??

Ok, that is all. Enjoy your night.